// February 17th, 2014 // Slice of Life

This is a blog excerpt from May 12, 2005… Thought you’d get a ‘kick’ out of it.

She attacks as quiet and as swift as a Ninja in the night…

bella pink dressWith all my training in the Martial Arts you’d think I’d be able to defend myself with such a sneaky attack. But no, I haven’t learned my lesson.

Here’s the situation.

It’s dark.

It’s way past midnight.

All is quiet.

When suddenly it happens. The attack. And you have no recourse except to moan and groan in pain.

My daughter (age 2), seems to get this idea that if she kicks me in the eye in the middle of the night I’ll stop snoring. Well, that’s my interpretation of the logic behind her motives. She curls up on the pillows between Donna and me and her feet end up next to my head. But it doesn’t stop there. Of course I’m not awake to witness such an assault, but I’m guessing she recoils her leg and straightens them out as fast and as powerful as she possibly can into my eyeball in order to illicit a reaction out of me!

Well, last night was the worst.

I screamed out “OWWWWW!” which jolts Donna awake. I follow that with a “GADDAMN IT!!!”.

I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but Bella can feign sleep like the best of them. She didn’t budge. Not a single move from my outburst. Her eyes were closed in a natural – look at me I’m sleeping like a baby – state.

Donna is like, “What happened?” And I’m rolling out of bed in pain saying, “I SWEAR SHE DOES IT ON PURPOSE”.

No she’s NEVER kicked Donna in the eye, mind you.

And Donna is like, “No she isn’t.”

But I know she is. Because Donna has more than once wanted to sock me in the eye while I was asleep in order to shut the noise!!!

So I get back in bed and low and behold, guilt overwhelms the innocent sleeping angel and she starts crying, rolls up on me and says… “SAWEEE PAPA. I SAWEE.”

AHAHA! She’s just admitted to guilt! See. I KNEW it.

But despite my throbbing eye what can you do but hold such a sweet little ninja as snug as you can muster. She cries and kisses me on the eye (see she knows exactly where she kicked me) and I say, “Don’t kick papa anymore, kay?” She whimpers, “Otay” and I pat her to sleep.

So a few of the many lessons that might be learned here is… sleep with one eye open… or get your baby to sleep in her own bed. :)

Wow… that was 9 years ago… My Ninja is now going to turn 11 years old. She’s not kicking me in the face anymore… and if she really did because of my snoring, I have recently been prescribed a CPAP machine.

Hope you enjoyed that slice of my past.


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